


Reclamation

by Donovanspen



Series: Whumptober 2019 [20]
Category: Shadowhunters (TV)
Genre: Alec Lightwood Needs A Hug, Caring Magnus Bane, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Prompt: Trembling, Protective Magnus Bane, Trauma-induced stress reaction, Whumptober 2019
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-11-27
Updated: 2019-11-27
Packaged: 2021-02-26 07:14:53
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,080
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21579724
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Donovanspen/pseuds/Donovanspen
Summary: It had been a terrible accident, and Magnus had thought they had healed. He didn’t realize how much Alec was still struggling.This is a follow-up to “Regret” (Prompt 1 - Shaky Hands)
Relationships: Magnus Bane/Alec Lightwood
Series: Whumptober 2019 [20]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1503425
Comments: 11
Kudos: 240





	Reclamation

Magnus closed the door behind him with a quiet click. He knew Alec would hear him come in, but based on the phone call he’d received earlier, he knew his husband wouldn’t be greeting him at the door. He felt the heavy weight of the object he was carrying and hoped he was making the right decision.

Alec was standing at the balcony doors, staring out into the night. He always did this when he was troubled, stare out over the city that he’d dedicated his life to protecting. He should be out there tonight, Magnus thought.

“You’re home early,” he said, breaking the quiet in the loft.

“Yeah, I had some last minute reports to turn in, so I reassigned my pat…,” Alec replied, his voice trailing off as he turned around and saw what Magnus was holding. “What are you doing with that?”

Magnus stepped a bit closer but stopped a few feet away. He wanted to have a discussion and get Alec to open up, but he didn’t want him to feel cornered. “I thought it was time.” He held Alec’s bow towards him and tried not to react when he saw Alec take a step back.

“I don’t need it. You shouldn’t have brought it here.”

Alec was now standing with his hands behind his back and shoulders straight. Magnus had no trouble reading his love’s body language, but this had gone on long enough.

“Alexander, we both know it’s more than just reports. You’re not even training anymore. You haven’t touched your bow since that day.”

“Magnus, don’t,” Alec pleaded, his voice a touch softer. “Not tonight, please.”

He so very much wanted to give in, and just wrap Alec in his arms and reassure that everything would be fine. But it wouldn’t. Not until Alec took that first step. “I wish I could, but you know as well as I do that you’re not ok. You can’t keep running from this.”

“I’m not,” Alec insisted. “We talked about this, Magnus. I’ve made my peace with what happened. Why are you pushing this now?”

Magnus kept hold of the bow and took a single step forward. They had talked. After that fateful afternoon when he had accidentally stepped into the path of one of Alec’s arrows, Alec had been a mess. He had alternated between being overly solicitous in caring for Magnus and withdrawing out of guilt. It had taken Magnus weeks to convince his husband that he didn’t fear him and that he was hurting him with his withdrawal. They had eventually balanced out, but Alec was still struggling. Magnus hadn’t realized to what extent until Jace had called him this evening. He had been trying to give his parabatai space, but he was worried that Alec wouldn’t return to the field without a loving nudge. Magnus agreed.

“You’re right. We did talk, and I’m so glad we did. It was difficult at first, but it helped. And now we need to address this. I understand why you’re scared, Alexander, but we need to face this. Together.”

“It’s just a weapon,” Alec said with a firm shake of his head. “I haven’t touched it because I haven’t needed to. I don’t know what Izzy and Jace said to make you think you have to do this, but you’re all wrong.”

“I disagree. This bow is a part of you, and you’re running from it because you’re still hurting. It’s time to stop running and hurting.”

“Magnus.”

“Alexander. I love you, and I can’t just sit and pretend when I know what’s happening. You would do the same for me. You have. You made a deal with my father so I could be whole. You came to Edom to either bring me home or stay by my side. How can you ask me to not love and help you with the same ferocity?” Magnus tried to keep his voice steady, but it was hard. Now that he knew how much Alec was still bottling up, he couldn’t just let it go. “Just hold it. That’s all I’m asking for tonight.”

Alec shook his head, and Magnus could see the hurt so clearly now. He noticed the little things like Alec biting his lower lip and his arms flexing as he was most likely clenching his fists behind his back. He took another step closer.

“Just hold it. Please. For me.” He held out the bow.

Alec stared at him with glassy eyes before slowly bringing his arm forward. His hand began to shake, and Alec dropped his arm and his gaze. 

“Try again. For me?” Magnus pressed.

Alec took a deep breath and looked up and met his eyes. Magnus could almost hear the silent plea of ‘please don’t make me do this’, but he ignored it in favor of giving Alec a reassuring smile and nod. He took a small step forward, still holding the bow out towards Alec.

He reached for it again, his arm still trembling, but he grasped it. He held it so hard that the skin around his knuckles was turning white, and the bow was shaking with the force of his trembling. Magnus reached out with his other hand and covered Alec’s with his own.

“I hurt you,” Alec whispered.

“You did,” he said. “It was an accident.”

“I almost killed you.”

“But you didn’t. You spend every day of your life loving me. Our lives are dangerous, Alexander. I don’t hate you. I don’t blame you.”

“I blame myself.”

His voice had barely been a whisper, but Magnus heard him, and his heart ached. “I know, my love. And that’s ok. I’m not going anywhere.” He pulled slightly on Alec’s hand until he released the bow. Magnus waved his hand and banished it to its designated hook in their weapon’s closet.

Alec looked as distraught as he had the day of the accident. His face was flushed, his eyes glassy, and his breathing was short and stuttered. He was still trembling and had wrapped his arms around himself, and Magnus felt a flicker of fear that Alec might withdraw again. He held out his arms and felt a wave of relief when Alec threw himself into his embrace. His grip was tight as he held onto Magnus, burying his face in Magnus’s neck, but Magnus didn’t care. He relished the strength of the hug, knowing that Alec wasn’t pulling away and that they had made a step forward.


End file.
